Control+Alt+Deplete

Lie of Transmission #2

2010-08-27T23:11:00.000-04:00

Lie of Transmission #1

2010-07-13T23:27:00.005-04:00

Check out the article 4 Things Facebook Doesn't Tell You about your Privacy and Security at CSO Online. The "4 things" are as follows:

1. We don't want you to change your privacy settings
2. We have little control over application security
3. We know which websites you're visiting
4. Your information is being stored in places outside of Facebook

But what's wrong with that, you ask? Facebook didn't do anything wrong, per se, you say? Actually they have. Evasions like these are lies, lies so common we have a handy term for them: Lies of Omission.

Why should these lies of omission concern you? The reasons are manifold: Facebook's waning security exposes you to the ravening universe of internet underworld, making you vulnerable to all variety of virtual (and in some cases physical) harm: identity theft, sexual predation, scams, fisching, the whole enchilada. The bad kind of enchilada, not the good kind that makes you all bloated.

Each of these evasions warrants a custom C+A+D cartoon, and today's toon focuses on the first important point:

1. We don't want you to change your privacy settings
While Facebook does provide the capability to change your settings, they clearly prefer that you don't. This is made obvious in several ways:

- Firstly, you the FB user must opt out of your information being shared publicly, instead of opting in. Duh.
- Secondly, using and even finding all of the privacy controls is intentionally made very difficult. How do we know it's intentional? Well, the alternative is that Facebook software engineers are stupid; clearly they are not, ergo, the convoluted controls are designed to dissuade and confound you.
- Thirdly, you are never prompted to change your settings; it is up to those users concerned about privacy to sniff them out.
- And finally, if those poignant points didn't convince you, take heed: there is information that you can no longer protect. Simply, the option no longer exists. Check out Facebook's Eroding Privacy Policy: A Timeline.

If any good comes of all this, it's the amusing analogy that changing your Facebook settings is to 2010 as programming your VCR is to 1985. The difference being, and this is the salient point, your VCR never stole your credit cards, sold your SSN, used your identity as a fisching front and absconded to a foreign country.

InSecurity Settings

2010-07-06T20:38:00.007-04:00

"You think you're signing up/
But you might just sign away/
Who's to say, who's to say?

"When the rules keep changing up/
Every day, who's to say?/
Those who pay, those who pay.

"So keep yer money in a cup/
And your ID 'neath the hay/
Or one day, you might pay/
Who's to say?"

- from "PayDay a Day Away"
by the Parannoyances

DisgraceBook

2010-05-28T23:09:00.008-04:00

So having always been delusional, imagine my horror when I discover that my paranoia is occasionally (and with increasing frequency) well-founded. Take FaceBook, for instance: Turns out they're as rife with double-speak as Orwell predicted of media moguls:

Says Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, "Facebook has maintained it is committed to striking a balance between respecting user privacy while facilitating the sharing of information."

What that means is, they ARE going to share your information. Look out, Big Brother's broadcasting your bike lock combination ...

“If they were sincere about privacy, the default mode for everything would be the minimal amount of sharing, and if you wish to share more you would opt in to doing that,” said John M. Simpson, consumer advocate for Consumer Watchdog. “I don’t think we have any reason to trust the company now based on their past record. There’s a pretty clear need for federal oversight at the FTC.”*

In fact, the first ethically dubious practice was established at its inception, when Zuckerberg hacked into secured Harvard databases, enabling fellow students to ridicule unattractive coeds by voting on side-by-side comparisons of their photos.

Caveat venditor. Seller beware.

*eWeek.com: http://www.eweek.com/c/a/Security/Grading-Facebooks-Privacy-Changes-214036/

Viral Trial

2010-05-15T22:59:00.003-04:00

I don't know FB very well yet, but those links that tell ya, Must join this site to view this joke, are highly suspect. And yet, as these new features emerge, how is the public to know right from wrong, except by trial and error? Somewhere, in the mists of time, a very brave man had to be the first to sample an oyster. Another, less celebrated in his day, contributed to posterity that poison ivy is not appropriate as a salad green. Whether you live to enjoy accolades or die amid ridicule too often depends on the whims of Fate.

Tough Luck -- er, Love

2010-05-12T08:43:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, you gotta make the tough decisions. Other times, the tough decisions are not that tough. :-)

RuthlessBurgher

2010-05-08T20:53:00.000-04:00

So even someone who doesn't follow sports, or celebrity gossip, can't avoid the radio chatter about certain cultural sensations -- and when a punchline slaps a cartoonist like a locker room throw-down -- well, that's when magic happens.

What cartoonist can resist the Ben Roethlisberger fiasco? After all, I still regret passing on Big Ben's helmet-less traffic blitz, when my wife guessed my first thought: "Darwinism at work. Oh, he's gonna pull through? Darwinism at leisure, then."

What's this have to do with Control+Alt+Deplete, you ask?

Illusions of anonymity, security and privacy are all dispelled when reality crashes into our digital metaphor. Viruses, fisching, Trojan Horses: these used to be references to the physical world.

Similarly, all those weirdos creeping the streets are creeping the Internet too -- and though we should know better, whether at the sports bar or the toolbar, we let down our guard for a familiar avatar.

Thank goodness for the Block-this-Freakazoid feature.

You Lose Snooze, You Lose

2010-05-07T22:32:00.001-04:00

Like I said, sometimes you give up on sleep. But then again, other times, sleep gives up on you.

Time Clock Block

2010-05-05T00:52:00.001-04:00

Despite being a vehicle for us busy workaholics and freelancers and parents to stay in touch with friends as we hurtle headlong through our hectic lives, social networking sure requires a lot of that free time we don't have -- once again, we cash in our only reserve: sleep.

Tridentity Theft

2010-05-03T22:02:00.000-04:00

Are you as freaked out by identity theft as I am? If you are, this phobia kept you from reconnecting with your long lost college pals. Thanks to Tam and Tony Schiffbauer who held my hands so I could dip my toe in before taking the plunge. Marco! Seriously, Marco, are you on FB yet? I haven't talked to you in ages.

Resistance is Puerile

2010-05-03T01:15:00.000-04:00

If you're like me, you feared the Facebook phenomenon at first. After all, you just recovered from that YouTube coma! After oodles of invitations from family and friends, you eventually gave in -- then you wondered what took you so long. So who needs sleep, I can finally chat with my globetrotting cousins again!